Posts tagged ‘respect’

Simply Own It

*THIS TOPIC WAS NOT PLANNED, IT JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD AS I WAS REFLECTING ON SOME THINGS I HAVE PEEPED LATELY, BASICALLY BEHAVIOR THAT DISTURBED ME. THERE ARE WOMEN WHO GENUINELY HAVE NO LOVE FOR THEMSELVES; TO THE POINT THEY ARE GETTING THEIR BUTTOCKS INJECTED IN NAIL SHOPS WITH BLACK MARKET IMITATION PMMA FILLERS THAT ARE LIFE THREATENING. I ALSO WITNESSED A HANDFUL OF 7TH GRADE GIRLS TALKING ABOUT HOW THEIR FAVORITE ARTIST IS NICKI MINAJ AND THEY ARE POSITIVE THEY CAN MAKE SO & SO’S BED ROCK.
I’M JUST TRYING TO ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO LOVE THEMSELVES. HOPEFULLY THOSE LIL GIRLS GET INTRODUCED TO MORE POSITIVE AND LESS PROVOCATIVE ARTISTS BEFORE ANY (MORE) DAMAGE IS DONE. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST NICKI MINAJ, I THINK SHE IS AN AMAZING ENTERTAINER BUT I WOULD NOT WANT MY NIECE OR DAUGHTER FOR THAT MATTER LOOKING UP TO THE CHARACTER SHE HAS CREATED AS INSPIRATION, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. I DIGRESS..YOU CAN LOVE IT OR HATE IT…MY FINGERS JUST KEPT UP TO SPEED WITH MY THOUGHTS, YOU COULD SAY THIS IS A “FREESTYLED” POST/RANT/NOTE/WHATEVER…AS ALWAYS, I HOPE YOU CAN TAKE SOME OF THIS WITH YOU AND GET A LITTLE ANXIOUS TO UPLIFT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE.
PEACE.**

The beauty of a woman is so versatile. We come in all colors, shapes, & sizes. Some are naturally
thin, others curvy, and some a bit more meaty, all individually unique and ALL beautiful. The problem
with the world today, is that women are pressured to fit a certain mold; an extremely UNREALISTIC MOLD that they see on television, in magazines, music videos, etc. Its easy to say “don’t conform to what society deems as beauty” but much harder to actually live that when everywhere you turn you constantly see perfection. Now more than ever women need to embrace their body and minds that were GOD given..you only get one of each and its vital to love yourself in each and every way, flaws and all.

I am not exempt from the pressure, trust me. Everytime I see Kim Kardashian with her perfect proportions I want to eat a bit less, work out a bit more. BUT I quickly remind myself that we are two different women, two different body types, and live two different lifestyles. For years I hated my freckles, you can literally play connect the dots on my arms and thighs. I was insecure of my complexion, I am of Irish/Portuguese decent and happen to be on the pale side. I have big lips and got called some detrimental names. I could go on and on and on..point being: we all have insecurities.

Now that I am older I appreciate my freckles, they are perfectly positioned where they are supposed to be, and they cannot be matched. My complexion is a reflection of where I come from and I’m proud of my nationality. I embrace my lips and label them one of my best features. Plastic surgery offices make a killing off of women who want what I was blessed with. I also am extremely intelligent, and possess a ton of other qualities that cannot be bought, injected, or duplicated. I realized long ago I will never be the bountiful bootylicious beauty gracing the covers of KING magazine, and that’s all right with me.

Ladies DO NOT limit your beauty to a mirror or someone else’s foolish ideals. We are so lucky to live in a country where we have the opportunity to be educated, speak our MINDS, sing, dance, cry, yell, cuss someone out, and most importantly CHOOSE who we want to love and be what God intended. So do not waste your life trying to be anyone other than yourself. Again, embrace YOU.

Positively school young girls on being confident, teach them to respect themselves and to march to the beat of their own drum.

Love yourself and whatever makes you YOU…simply own it.

As Always-Stay Blessed

-Be

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What a girl wants….

I am no longer confused as to what I want from a man. Its simple. I want to be courted*.  Doors opened, making sure I’m walking on the inside of the sidewalk, dates (& I don’t just mean paid activities; I’m referring to walks along Castle Island, Saturday sessions of basketball @ a park, etc) I am not a woman who wants or needs a man to TELL me how they feel all the time, I don’t like talking about feelings and nonsense regarding where this is going and when it should change. I got eyes, I can tell how you feel by your actions. I’m not in any rush to be a Mrs., so there won’t be a 6 month review regarding; “can you see me walking towards you by June in all white?”.  All I want is uncomplicated, good times with someone who can keep it real in every way possible.  Someone who isn’t going to expect ANYTHING, or use vulgarity to give me compliments.(Sorry fellas, but most women prefer a “you look beautiful”; “You’re intelligent” compliment over “your breasts are huge, I could use them for pillows” any day. I know I do.)  I’m at a point where I am not looking for anything in particular, but I refuse to settle for someone whose first question when he’s getting to know me is “how low can you go .” Women act. Men react. And if they have gotten away with that behavior before, they are obviously going to keep doing it.  Some do it as a way to weed out the tramps. Others do it because they have no sense otherwise.  All I do know is that I am an exceptional woman, and a positive addition to a man’s life.  Someone recently told me that, and instead of debating it or pointing out my flaws and why I do not think I am allll of that…I simply smiled, and owned it. 🙂

 
Ladies, as women we should not lower our standards just to have a ‘someone’ present.  A phrase I live by when it comes to a man is “I want you. I do not need you”.  I need oxygen to survive, (and maybe my blackberry lol) but I do not need anyone. And I feel like a lot of men should appreciate that quality, especially if you are seriously committed and god forbid he loses his job, he should not want to contemplate suicide, rather have a sense of security that, if need be, his highly independent woman would be there for him until he is back on his feet.  I just feel like so many men and women have a false perception on what either wants and then it makes dating even more complicated.  (Both parties need to stop blaming the next one for what the last one did or did not do..#justsayin’)

But like I previously stated, I know what I want.  And if a couple dates happen and we both realize that we’re not compatible past the friends zone, that’s ok. I hope to gain a good friend, someone who doesn’t mind getting whooped by a girl at some things lol. Dating is all about getting to know someone and having the choice to not want to go further with no hard feelings.  I think when you take it to the sexual level quickly, that’s when it changes the game.  If he shows interest in taking it to that level or even speaks on it and that’s not what YOU want..say so. Don’t waste his time playing games and most importantly don’t waste yours.  Let him know your not going that route, if that’s what he’s after he’ll find it elsewhere, but at least you were honest and able to get back to focusing on what YOUR looking for. 
My point is: Don’t settle. If its loving that you want, say so. If it’s the banker husband, 4 bedroom home on the hill, and 3.5 kids, say so. If its late night texts and after club rendezvous, say so. If its I think your attractive, I’m feeling what I know of you, let’s go on a date and see where this goes, no pressure, say so. 
I finally said so.
& it got me feeling some kind of way.
Til next time, keep ya head up.
-bE*