Posts from the ‘Love Yourself’ Category

Seasons Change………….

I wanted to speak on the final chapter of our “shit”. But I decided that acknowledging you and the BS you pulled was not the route I wanted to take, considering you would get a kick out of the attention as well as knowing you hurt me…again. I was raised with “everyone deserves a 2nd chance” but you have gotten about 5 chances and you still haven’t learned shit. I whole heartedly believed you, again, last weekend. You were so sincere, eye contact was in full affect, and it felt so right. Being with you felt right. Key word being felt, past tense. The ache I felt in my chest the following day, when I realized it was all lies and you stood me up..again..is indescribable. I would never want anyone to experience that, its one of the worst emotions to feel..rejection, deceit, just plain ugliness reared its ass back into my life, on my doorstep, in my heart, infront of my eyes. Your lack of communication and conscious shows me that you are hiding something, and you are too stupid to accept that honesty is the best policy and fess up. I refuse to be a doormat, that is why you will be ringing a dead doorbell. I refuse to sit around for another year waiting for you to follow through with your promises and make us happen. I refuse to be yours when its convenient for you. I refuse to watch amazing men walk past me day in and day out because I am afraid of missing the opportunity with you, if you ever so happen to man up and do as you say. That night, before I feel asleep ..I promised myself I will no longer be here for you. I will not accept your calls, texts, IMs, emails, etc unless you are sincerily apologizing and honestly telling me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing BUT the truth. I will go out with whoever dares to ask me on a date, I will put you to the side, out of sight-out of mind. I will be fine, and most importantly I will be better without you around.

Signed..Sealed..Delivered…

I’m not yours.

Simply Own It

*THIS TOPIC WAS NOT PLANNED, IT JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD AS I WAS REFLECTING ON SOME THINGS I HAVE PEEPED LATELY, BASICALLY BEHAVIOR THAT DISTURBED ME. THERE ARE WOMEN WHO GENUINELY HAVE NO LOVE FOR THEMSELVES; TO THE POINT THEY ARE GETTING THEIR BUTTOCKS INJECTED IN NAIL SHOPS WITH BLACK MARKET IMITATION PMMA FILLERS THAT ARE LIFE THREATENING. I ALSO WITNESSED A HANDFUL OF 7TH GRADE GIRLS TALKING ABOUT HOW THEIR FAVORITE ARTIST IS NICKI MINAJ AND THEY ARE POSITIVE THEY CAN MAKE SO & SO’S BED ROCK.
I’M JUST TRYING TO ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO LOVE THEMSELVES. HOPEFULLY THOSE LIL GIRLS GET INTRODUCED TO MORE POSITIVE AND LESS PROVOCATIVE ARTISTS BEFORE ANY (MORE) DAMAGE IS DONE. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST NICKI MINAJ, I THINK SHE IS AN AMAZING ENTERTAINER BUT I WOULD NOT WANT MY NIECE OR DAUGHTER FOR THAT MATTER LOOKING UP TO THE CHARACTER SHE HAS CREATED AS INSPIRATION, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. I DIGRESS..YOU CAN LOVE IT OR HATE IT…MY FINGERS JUST KEPT UP TO SPEED WITH MY THOUGHTS, YOU COULD SAY THIS IS A “FREESTYLED” POST/RANT/NOTE/WHATEVER…AS ALWAYS, I HOPE YOU CAN TAKE SOME OF THIS WITH YOU AND GET A LITTLE ANXIOUS TO UPLIFT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE.
PEACE.**

The beauty of a woman is so versatile. We come in all colors, shapes, & sizes. Some are naturally
thin, others curvy, and some a bit more meaty, all individually unique and ALL beautiful. The problem
with the world today, is that women are pressured to fit a certain mold; an extremely UNREALISTIC MOLD that they see on television, in magazines, music videos, etc. Its easy to say “don’t conform to what society deems as beauty” but much harder to actually live that when everywhere you turn you constantly see perfection. Now more than ever women need to embrace their body and minds that were GOD given..you only get one of each and its vital to love yourself in each and every way, flaws and all.

I am not exempt from the pressure, trust me. Everytime I see Kim Kardashian with her perfect proportions I want to eat a bit less, work out a bit more. BUT I quickly remind myself that we are two different women, two different body types, and live two different lifestyles. For years I hated my freckles, you can literally play connect the dots on my arms and thighs. I was insecure of my complexion, I am of Irish/Portuguese decent and happen to be on the pale side. I have big lips and got called some detrimental names. I could go on and on and on..point being: we all have insecurities.

Now that I am older I appreciate my freckles, they are perfectly positioned where they are supposed to be, and they cannot be matched. My complexion is a reflection of where I come from and I’m proud of my nationality. I embrace my lips and label them one of my best features. Plastic surgery offices make a killing off of women who want what I was blessed with. I also am extremely intelligent, and possess a ton of other qualities that cannot be bought, injected, or duplicated. I realized long ago I will never be the bountiful bootylicious beauty gracing the covers of KING magazine, and that’s all right with me.

Ladies DO NOT limit your beauty to a mirror or someone else’s foolish ideals. We are so lucky to live in a country where we have the opportunity to be educated, speak our MINDS, sing, dance, cry, yell, cuss someone out, and most importantly CHOOSE who we want to love and be what God intended. So do not waste your life trying to be anyone other than yourself. Again, embrace YOU.

Positively school young girls on being confident, teach them to respect themselves and to march to the beat of their own drum.

Love yourself and whatever makes you YOU…simply own it.

As Always-Stay Blessed

-Be

:chanGe>progRess>mOvement>groWth:

The title, change-progress-movement-growth speaks volumes for me.  I apply it to my life for the best, especially when a negative situation arises, or I’m let down about something.  With change comes progression, progression causes movements, which eventually lead to growth.  At this stage in the game, all I hope for is continued growth. =)

The interactions I’ve had lately with men (minus the 1’s I had the pleasure of meeting in Miami Hehe)  have been lack luster. No one is brand new or even remotely interesting but I guess it goes to show you, in order to get what you never had, you have to do what you never did. So, time to switch it up…..just not sure how to???

Well the first step will be some good ol’ ME time. I am going on a hiatus & do all the things I enjoy doing, finish organizing all my papers, get my financials in order, go to church on a regular basis & maybe just relax @ a coffee spot & read a book.  Whatever my heart desires I will try and make it happen.  I just have so many interests and feel like I can touch on anything as long as I properly plan it out (if you know me, you know I’m quite the “everywhere” type of gal.  Hard for me to focus on one thing–I believe some call that having A.D.D.). 

My New Years resolution was to not settle and,  3 months into 2010, I think I’ve done a pretty good job with keeping my word.  I haven’t seen Flow since my bday( Flow is someone I fell in DEEP like with, just totally swept me off my feet. Told me everything I always wanted to hear. We clicked on a level I have never experienced, & I honestly thought it was going to be “something”..but as quickly as it started, it was over).; we have had a few conversations that didn’t make me feel better about anything but more so confirmed what I was trying so hard not to believe-he’s a 5 star asshole when your dating him.  But I did make the mistake of giving in & speaking to him when I said I wouldn’t: before my vacation. Then one night I had too much to drink I started texting him asking for him 2 come & see me. Maybe it was the liquor or seeing couples together sharing memories, whatever it was, it triggered a false hope. I decided to just enjoy my vacation. The last night I was there he sent me a lovely IM. “Hey, I was just thinking about you & wanted to see how your vacation was going, maybe you can just change plans…etc”.  His effort made me swoon. I started to have some hope(maybe that was the Patron?).  Whatever. I gave in, and of course he went on to question if the men I was chilling with were more than acquaintances & if I was possibly hooking up with them. For him to even possess those thoughts WHILE I was expressing my want to see him, reiterated all that I already knew: he doesn’t know me or even care to GET to know me. He never replied that night when I confirmed I would go see him. He never hit me up period. I wrote to him & said “You never replied” he responded with “regarding??”…I just said “nevermind” and I haven’t heard from him since. I have summed it up to when he is bored he decides to inquire about me. He wants me to want him and at the same time he doesnt want to want me. He has no intentions for an honest & reliable relationship & I am fine with that, now. He is much better at being a distant friend, who texts once a month saying hello & how are you.

We accept what we internally feel we deserve, I know I don’t deserve any of the half assed attention Flow shows me, & my fabulous family &  friends have confirmed that on many occasions.  Now its time I believe it. So without further a due, Flow..its time for you to go. =)

“So your doing better now everybody comes around but u don’t really need em cus your stronger & your better & your ready for whatever saying…oooooohhh what til you see my smile” 🙂  — The always inspiring , Miss Alicia Keys

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UPDATE: Saturday 3/13/10

So I got woken up @ 10am by phone calls from Flow–its been a few days, wonder why he’s even bothering?? Oh that’s right..boredom..LOL. I am feeling a little under the weather this morning, catching a cold or something.  So I am really not in the mood to entertain half assed attempts to get into bE.  I am going to enjoy my weekend & pretend that phone call was a wrong number.  I have seen the light people, & it has brightened up my direction!!

Enough with the all over writing, just had to get this off my chest, in a random, un-structured way.

Stay progressing y’all. xox
-bE