I am no longer confused as to what I want from a man. Its simple. I want to be courted*.  Doors opened, making sure I’m walking on the inside of the sidewalk, dates (& I don’t just mean paid activities; I’m referring to walks along Castle Island, Saturday sessions of basketball @ a park, etc) I am not a woman who wants or needs a man to TELL me how they feel all the time, I don’t like talking about feelings and nonsense regarding where this is going and when it should change. I got eyes, I can tell how you feel by your actions. I’m not in any rush to be a Mrs., so there won’t be a 6 month review regarding; “can you see me walking towards you by June in all white?”.  All I want is uncomplicated, good times with someone who can keep it real in every way possible.  Someone who isn’t going to expect ANYTHING, or use vulgarity to give me compliments.(Sorry fellas, but most women prefer a “you look beautiful”; “You’re intelligent” compliment over “your breasts are huge, I could use them for pillows” any day. I know I do.)  I’m at a point where I am not looking for anything in particular, but I refuse to settle for someone whose first question when he’s getting to know me is “how low can you go .” Women act. Men react. And if they have gotten away with that behavior before, they are obviously going to keep doing it.  Some do it as a way to weed out the tramps. Others do it because they have no sense otherwise.  All I do know is that I am an exceptional woman, and a positive addition to a man’s life.  Someone recently told me that, and instead of debating it or pointing out my flaws and why I do not think I am allll of that…I simply smiled, and owned it. 🙂

 
Ladies, as women we should not lower our standards just to have a ‘someone’ present.  A phrase I live by when it comes to a man is “I want you. I do not need you”.  I need oxygen to survive, (and maybe my blackberry lol) but I do not need anyone. And I feel like a lot of men should appreciate that quality, especially if you are seriously committed and god forbid he loses his job, he should not want to contemplate suicide, rather have a sense of security that, if need be, his highly independent woman would be there for him until he is back on his feet.  I just feel like so many men and women have a false perception on what either wants and then it makes dating even more complicated.  (Both parties need to stop blaming the next one for what the last one did or did not do..#justsayin’)

But like I previously stated, I know what I want.  And if a couple dates happen and we both realize that we’re not compatible past the friends zone, that’s ok. I hope to gain a good friend, someone who doesn’t mind getting whooped by a girl at some things lol. Dating is all about getting to know someone and having the choice to not want to go further with no hard feelings.  I think when you take it to the sexual level quickly, that’s when it changes the game.  If he shows interest in taking it to that level or even speaks on it and that’s not what YOU want..say so. Don’t waste his time playing games and most importantly don’t waste yours.  Let him know your not going that route, if that’s what he’s after he’ll find it elsewhere, but at least you were honest and able to get back to focusing on what YOUR looking for. 
My point is: Don’t settle. If its loving that you want, say so. If it’s the banker husband, 4 bedroom home on the hill, and 3.5 kids, say so. If its late night texts and after club rendezvous, say so. If its I think your attractive, I’m feeling what I know of you, let’s go on a date and see where this goes, no pressure, say so. 
I finally said so.
& it got me feeling some kind of way.
Til next time, keep ya head up.
-bE*

Advertisements