(Post was written 3rd week of March 2010, forgot to publish—ride with me ppl)

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” –Martin Luther King Jr.

So as I am laying here ready to get some well deserved beauty sleep, I can’t help myself from thinking about everything that’s been going on lately. I had an ‘epiphany’ to say the least at work today. I have been debating back & fourth for a few days about whether or not I want to have relations (friendship/civil) with Flow. I got to thinking about forgiveness, on more than one occasion I have asked him for said forgiveness, & he has done with no questions asked. I decide that I am at a pivotal place in my life & in order to have a more positive journey I need to forgive as easily (remembering not to forget) as I expect to be forgiven.

Flow has always been very verbal with letting me know of the areas I can improve. & at the time I didn’t accept his outlook or even give it any thought. Today, I went over the constructive criticism he has given me in the past and I realize I do have a lot of pride, I am an extremist, I tend to count my chickens before they hatch & overreact for no reason other than I’m not in control and it scares me.

So, after all this I decide to send him a text, he did take the initiative to contact me when he was in town, and I feel like we can have an actual conversation now that I am no longer holding resentment towards him because of whatever. “Hey got your text the other day, my bad for taking so long to respond..just been busy..what’s good?”…he responds saying he has been busy as well and to hit him up when my schedule permits. He was @ work & unable to have a convo so he asks if its okay he calls me later, I agree and that was that.

He called me later that night & there was no talk about this that & the third. It was a genuine conversation about what was going on in each of our lives & I miss it. I miss his suggestions, life experiences, & overall upbeat & positive outlook on almost everything. For the time I’ve known him he has been a ‘glass half full’ type of man. We talked for longer than I should have, I do have work in the morning & have to be on my A game, but I’m glad we spoke, & hope we can have more genuine conversations like this. The way it was tonight should be how it is all the time. I would like his friendship, above all else. Things got messy when I had my heart set on US being a certain way (mainly in part of his promises of what WE were going to BE).

Even though he has said on numerous occasions “men & women can’t be just friends”.**** We’ll see how that pans out.

****Which I disagree wholeheartedly. 95% of my friends are Men and we keep it strictly platonic.

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